Running your funeral home isn’t easy. After a long day helping families and keeping your business going, thinking about leadership might be the last thing on your mind. 

But leading a successful funeral home isn’t just about how many families you serve or how your finances look. It’s also about how well you’re leading your team. 

Whether you’re leading a large team or just a few close-knit staff members, how you lead and the culture you create will shape everything from your people’s morale to how they serve families. 

For many, leadership is a skill that requires constant work and effort. It certainly did for Kris Seale, who will be the first to admit that he knew very little when he first stepped into leadership as the President & CEO of Directors Investment Group more than 40 years ago. (Hear everything Kris had to say on leadership in his appearance on The Graveyard Shift podcast!)

But as his company and perspective grew, he realized his leadership style had to change. 

He had an “eye-opening” moment that made him rethink how he was leading. He felt called to lead with more trust, care, and heart.  

“I was better at judging people than loving people,” Kris admitted. “That was a huge adjustment.” 

Kris’s shift to being a people-first leader didn’t just change how he led – it changed the culture of his entire company. Today, with over 500 employees, he lives by a simple truth:  

“You get the culture you allow or the culture you create.” 

Here are 5 leadership lessons Kris has learned in his decades of experience as a CEO. See how these lessons can help you grow as a leader and help you build a culture that benefits your staff and families.

#1. Culture is built by design.

A strong workplace culture doesn’t happen out of the blue. It takes work. Kris said it best:

“We didn’t form our culture overnight. It took 3 solid years to get through, what I would call, the pain. Then we focused on trying to find one more thing we could do to improve our culture. What else can we do? And every year, implementing something new. If one of our ideas wasn’t working, we got rid of it. But if it was working, we kept doing it.”

That means leaders have to intentionally shape the environment they want for their team. But how? Where do you start? 

Clearly define your values for your team and let your staff know what matters most to your funeral home. Whether it’s respect, compassion, trust, or something else, make sure those values are more than just words on the wall. Live out your values. Talk about them often. Hold your team accountable.  

Use the values you’ve deemed as most important to your business to shape everything else.  

Culture isn’t a one-time project. It’s something you build, protect, and refine constantly. And when you do it well, it becomes something your team is proud to be part of. 

#2: Hire for attitude. Train for skill.

When it comes to building a strong team, Kris emphasized hiring based on a person’s character rather than a specific skill set.  

Skills can be taught through mentorship and training. But heart, passion, work ethic, and attitude are much harder to teach.

“When we’re hiring people, what I’m looking for is people who really have a heart, love what we’re trying to do, and love the funeral profession. I want people who want to do better for themselves, and do better to help our families, customers, and the funeral homes that we work with.” 

When you’re hiring for your funeral home, look for people who genuinely care about their work, team, and the families you serve. Look for people who want to grow, improve, and contribute to something meaningful.  

Your employees need that mindset to sustain and add to the positive culture you’ve established. 

Once you’ve hired the right people, create a workplace that supports their growth in their roles. Give them the tools and encouragement they need to succeed. When you hire good people and help them grow (personally and professionally), everybody wins.

#3: One bad apple can spoil the culture.

If you have a workplace culture you’re proud of, chances are it took years to build. It also takes work to sustain that culture. One of the biggest threats to your funeral home’s culture is a toxic team member. 

Unfortunately, just one person with a bad attitude can quickly become a major problem for your staff and culture. They might be a rockstar funeral director who’s amazing with families, but if they can’t get along with the rest of the staff, that’s a problem. 

Kris offered some great advice on facing this situation: 

“It’s a bad-culture situation when you can walk into a business or meet with a staff and feel that things aren’t right. As a leader, you learn discernment with situations like that. You can tell when something is off. That’s when you have to step in and say ‘I need to make a change because things are not going well here.’” 

As a leader, you’re responsible for your funeral home’s staff and culture. That means you have to remember that negativity, gossip, and passive-aggressive behavior don’t just stay in one spot. They spread, and it doesn’t take long before the whole team starts to feel it.  

If left unchecked, spreading negativity in your funeral home can quickly lead to your staff walking on eggshells and feeling less productive. 

Leaders have to step in early and can’t wait for things to get worse. Have an honest conversation about the behavior and protect the positive culture you’ve worked so hard to build. 

#4. Share frequent, constructive feedback.

One of the best ways to help your team grow is by giving regular, honest feedback. These feedback sessions shouldn’t happen just once a year during reviews. They should happen constantly as things happen. Your employees can’t improve if they don't know what’s working and what’s not.  

That means celebrating wins, like shouting out a great service in a team meeting, recognizing a staff member who handled a tough situation well, or sending a quick appreciation text after a rough day.  

A pat on the back goes a long way with your staff and how they feel about working with you and in your funeral home. 

However, this also means not avoiding the harder conversations. If something needs to be corrected or addressed, say it. Don’t let things build up.  

Kris explained that a quick, respectful chat can prevent bigger issues down the road.

“It seems like I say the same things all the time, but there’s a reason for that. If you’re consistent with the message you’re communicating to your people, then everyone understands that this is important and then you hold them accountable. And it’s okay to do that.” 

When feedback is a normal part of the process and the workplace culture, it helps everyone grow and get better.

#5. Leadership is more than a title.

Leadership isn’t about having a fancy title or a corner office. It’s about how you show up for your team.

The best leaders are less concerned with their title and more focused on leading by example. They model the attitude, work ethic, and respect they want reflected in their team. Kris said this has been something he’s had to constantly work on in his leadership journey:

“One of the things I have to work on is my attitude every day. Just getting up in the morning and having a great attitude and entering the day with joy. Remember, the staff is looking to you and the actions you take. Their attitude and morale aren’t based on the words on the wall. It’s based upon how you, as a leader, are acting towards them.” 

It’s easier than you think for your staff to notice when you’re having a good or bad day. Most of us are more transparent than we realize, especially leaders.

That’s why it’s important for you as a leader to be aware of how you handle stress, speak to others, and come into the office every day. Your attitude sets the tone for your people.

At the end of the day, leadership is about modeling behavior, not position. How you carry yourself, especially when things get tough, speaks louder than any title ever could.